


Talk to Me

by sassy_slytherin



Series: Sirius Black is an amazing Godfather [1]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Angst, Family, Fifth Year, Friendship, Hurt/Comfort, a little bit of
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-01-30
Updated: 2014-01-30
Packaged: 2018-01-10 14:14:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,536
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1160652
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sassy_slytherin/pseuds/sassy_slytherin
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In fifth year, Sirius notice odd scars on the back of Harrys hand. </p>
<p>I always thought there was missing a Harry and Sirius sharing'n'caring moment. Here is my take on how it could have gone.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Talk to Me

It was a late night meaning that most of the people had gone home or to bed already, but the ones that had stayed were now having a cheerful conversation about quidditch around the table in the kitchen. Harry through in a little comment once in a while but to be honest he was exhausted. 

A light flickered from Sirius' barking-like-laugh and Kingsley leaned forward in his seat as he took a sip of his fire whiskey. Remus on the other hand looked down at his empty class with a small frown. Harry caught his eyes giving him a cheeky smile that was returned right away. 

"Can't help it" Remus laughed as Harry got up taking the werewolf's glass with him to the counter where he poured some fire whiskey in it before returning to the table again.  

 

The hours went past in a blur of light banters and cheerful grins and soon Harry and Sirius are the only two left in the kitchen. There were empty butter beer bottles and glasses everywhere along some dirty dinner plates that had been left on the table. 

Sirius leaned against the counter taking the room in and letting out a heavy sigh before he started clapping his pockets looking for his wand, after having double checked every pocket he had to conclude that it wasn't there sighing even heavier.

"Guess we will just have to do this muggle-style" he said but didn't move. Manual labor had never really been his thing unless it was connected to a really promising prank. Of course all of his pranks were promising, there were just some of them that was better than other. 

His trail of thoughts were interrupted when Harry began gathering the plates and placing them in the sink. 

"You just going to stand there?" Harry teased to which Sirius just grunted something that sounded a lot like a string of curse word before also setting to work. 

They worked in silence for a while and the only sound was the clinging from the glasses and bottles. They were almost done when Sirius froze staring at Harrys hand that he had reached forward to take the last glass still left on the table. Harry pulled it away when he saw the shocked expression that was plastered on his godfather’s face. He had seen it and now it was time for damage control. 

"It's nothing really. Just a little cut I got the other day" 

"Harry that looked like words"

"It's nothing"

"Let me see it then" Sirius demanded

"No"

"No?"

"No, just forget it, alright. It's nothing, really" Harry insisted, trying to dodge Sirius’ penetrating gaze.

"Harry" 

Harry returned his stare to his godfathers. After a while before Sirius finally broke the uncomfortable silence 

"You do know I'm not going to give up, right?"

Harry didn't answer instead he faked a yawn hoping Sirius would give up for tonight and leave it for tomorrow. That would at least buy him a little time to find a good explanation. Maybe he would be so lucky that Sirius forgot about it, but he never broke a promise and Harry feared that this wouldn't become a first.

"Harry talk to me" 

He didn’t answer.

"So now you're just going to ignore me or what?"

"Sirius, it's nothing."

"It's obviously not nothing, now tell me what's wrong" Sirius said insistently. 

"You are not going to let me go until I tell you..." Harry said annoyed, feeling the defeat getting nearer.

"That's correct" Sirius said as he sat down at the table crossing his arms over his chest "I have all night"

Harry let out a sigh before he sat down opposite Sirius slowly placing his scarred hand on the table. Sirius leaned over taking Harrys hands in his and pulling up the sleeve. His expression changed from chock to disbelief to rage in a matter of a second as he read and reread the words cut in his godson’s hand. 

"Have you done this?" his voice wasn't more than a whisper.

"Yes. No! Well sort of..." 

"Meaning"

"I did it, but not because I wanted to" The murderous look Sirius was giving him made him add  "it's complicated"

"As I said before; I have all night" 

"Detention" Harry finally said.

"Detention?"

"Umbridge doesn't like me very much you see. She keeps insisting on Cedric's death was an accident, and that Voldemort isn't back. I told her she was wrong. I might have yelled it at her, but that's not the point. The point is she is trying to shut me up by making me write these sentences. She's got this special quill that when you write with it, it sort of cut's what you writes into the back of your hand. My sentence as you can see was: I must not tell lies …" Harry's voice trailed of, his eyes trained on the scars to avoid looking into Sirius' which he could feel on him. 

"Why haven't you told me this?" The hurt was evident in his voice.

"I- I can handle it"

"Handle it? Harry the women is torturing you!"

"Torturing me?! This is nothing compared to…" Harry snapped back, but hesitated for a second before continuing "… Compared to other things I have been through"

"This isn't right. You shouldn't ignore this because of what have happened in the past. No matter what has happened you still shouldn't have your hand sliced up, and even less without telling me about it."

Harry looked away from his godfather’s eyes.

"Please tell me that you at least have talked with Dumbledore about it"

"It’s none of his business" 

"How is this not his business, one of his teachers is torturing a student. Torturing you" 

"He has too much to think about anyway. I won't bother him with more"

Sirius shot him a look and he continued.

"I don't want him to think that I'm some complaining teenager. He probably already think that"

"Nonsense. What makes you think that?" Sirius exclaims.

"It's always about me. Me who has done something or got some sort of theory, and it's him who has to listen to it… Him, who always has to get me out of trouble. It's about time I grow up and learn to deal with my own problems instead of expecting everyone to help me"

"That's not true and you know that,” Sirius said, "Dumbledore doesn't think you are a complaining teenager, and even if he thought that, it wouldn't be true."

They looked at each other for a long time. 

"You could have told me,” Sirius said. Harry laughed a little. 

"What?" 

"I just though that if I wrote you, you would storm to Hogwarts and kill her, but I have to admit; you are taking it rather well"

"Oh, I'm just waiting for you to go to bed then I will be off" even though his voice had a joking tone it still maintained a serious edge that worried Harry. 

"Can we make a deal?" Harry finally decided to say.

"Depends on what" Sirius answered with a suspicious gleam in his eyes 

"You won't go kill Umbridge, even though it would be great I won't have you sent to Azkaban again.. In return I promise I will write you if something happens." 

Sirius pretends to consider it for a couple of seconds before nodding "I think I can do that" 

"Deal."

"Deal." Sirius half smiled "Now it's late, go to bed"

 "G’Night Sirius" Harry said as he got up and began dragging himself out the kitchen.  

 

It wasn't until Sirius was sure that Harry couldn't hear him he leaned over the table taking his head in his hands while swearing heavily. He got up and started pacing back and forth in the room before slamming his fist into the wall with a loud crack. He turned around sliding down the wall. It had taken all of his self-control to maintain a normal expression while talking with Harry but now there was nothing he could do to hold it all back.

All he wanted to do was what Harry had forbid him. Hatred filled him, but not only turned against the loathed woman. His shoulders shook with rage, and he heaved a couple of shaky breaths.

"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry that I haven't been there for him like I promised" He said as a tear glimpsed in his eye, threatening to fall. "Honestly James, this isn't any thing like what I thought it would be. I was supposed to be the funny godfather getting him into trouble for pranks, not this. But he is a good kid. A brave kid, maybe a little bit too brave. I'm proud to be his godfather. I don't think I ever got to say this but thanks for trusting me with the job, I promise I can do it better than this. I can and I will do better than this. Even if it's the last thing I do.” Slowly he let out a breath “God I miss you Prongs, it's not the same without you."   

He looks at his hand and exhales deeply; the knuckles are bloody. The tear that had been threatening to fall finally does.

 

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading, sorry for any gramma/spelling mistakes


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